When I first began reading “Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?” it immediately reminded me of my time in Junior High School. Connie is superficial and concerned with her looks and also feels like she doesn’t live up to the standards that her older sister sets. I thought in similar ways when I was in junior high. I didn’t like telling my mom what I was up to or what was going on in my life. My sister seemed like the perfect child, hard working and always doing extremely well in school, and I saw myself as the “nothing special,” middle child.
On the other hand, I didn’t really like how the mother always treated Connie with such contempt. Even though Connie seems too mature and confident for her fifteen years, it’s always extremely difficult for a child or teenager to feel as if her mother dislikes her. A mother should look after her children and encourage them instead of treating them as if they are a burden and disappointment.
It seems that Connie feels isolated and left out from her family. This was especially clear when she was left alone at home after declining to attend the barbeque at her aunt’s house. Even though she chose to stay home alone, Connie seemed surrounded by her loneliness. Her loneliness was characterized by her need to drown out the silence at home with sounds from the radio. I believe that her self- awareness and confidence are a façade and that deep down she probably feels like a small and neglected child.
Her relationship with her family has caused Connie to become an irresponsible and naïve child. Connie’s carelessness finally caught up to her when the man from the night before basically revealed himself as her stalker. She was put in an intense and traumatic situation, a kind of situation that most girls her age still have to worry about. It really unsettled me how much he knew about Connie and her friends and family. He really started scaring me after a while, trying to take advantage of such a naïve girl. By the time I finished the story, I was so worried for the girl and her family. She was helpless and had no idea what to do. That man completely disgusted me.
I enjoyed reading your blog, Christy. I agree that the mother should not have treated Connie in such a spiteful manner. A mother should love all of her children equally even if they may be different from one another. If Connie's family had taken a more active role in her upbringing, I do not think she would have found herself in such a traumatizing situation. Her father should have at least attempted to correct the mother's mistreatment, but instead he is mostly apathetic.
ReplyDeleteI do not believe that the family is all to blame, but I do believe if Connie's family had been more loving and supportive that some of Connie's decisions that led up to the disturbing situation with Arnold Friend could have been prevented. And though the mother plays a large part with their unhappy relationship, but I agree with Amy that Connie's father is just as detrimental to Connie's attitude, because he does not care and therefore does not help. And what you said about the differences between siblings and children is so true Christy. My younger siblings and I are extremely different, but that is what makes families unique and parents should always attempt to show their children that they are equally loved.
ReplyDeleteChristy,
ReplyDeleteAs a fellow middle child i completely understand what you mean be feeling overshadowed by your older sister! However, I think that Connie's sister June serves as a character that allows Connie to justify her own actions. I think that Connie acts out as a way to separate herself from her boring and average-looking sister who still lives at home an has a mediocre job. I agree with you when it comes to Connie's mother-- i disliked that she spoke with such contempt about Connie. This was addressed in the story as well when Oates stated that Connie's mother was jealous of Connie's good looks because she had lost her own. I thought that Connie enjoyed her time alone and away from her family so that she could be filled with the music that lulls her into somewhat of a trance. I think that the music keeps her company in a way. Arnold is definitely a disgusting man who steals Connie's innocence at an astoundingly young age.